As I settled into my seat for a recent flight, the pilot's voice flowed through the cabin. He explained the airline's new security procedures, trying to calm frayed nerves. Then, he went on, "We're all just one big family on this flight. So, I want you to get to know your neighbors. Ask them their names and their country of origin. Then, you folks just let me know if any of you are worried about the person sitting next to you."

I was dumbfounded! What a way to perpetuate the racial stereotypes and prejudice that grew in the wake of the September 11 attacks. I've heard of pilots refusing to take an Arab American passenger or passengers getting off flights with Arab Americans on board, but I had hoped that kind of discrimination was waning. Guess I was wrong.

Such behavior is inappropriate in America. It is based on misunderstanding as much as on bigotry. It arises, as it always has, from fear of those who are different from us. But, just because we are scared doesn't mean we can revert to judging our neighbors on the basis of their skin color.

Fortunately, many Americans are learning more about the Middle East and Islam. Colleges report that classes on Middle Eastern studies and Islam are overflowing. Bookstores and libraries can't keep books and maps on the region in stock. Some are attending sessions led by Muslim leaders to explain their religion. Learning more rather than retreating into bigotry is how Americans can best deal with our fear of terrorism.

Along with fear and prejudice come attempts to erode our civil liberties. I was appalled by the Denver Post story about a former FBI official who suggested using torture to obtain confessions from the hijackers' suspected accomplices. It was scary enough to hear Attorney General Ashcroft argue for waiving habeas corpus (our safeguard against illegal detention or imprisonment) in the case of terrorists. But torture-how could we even consider it in our civilized society?

If we resort to torture or drugs to elicit information, we are no better than the countries whose human rights records we deplore. If we detain people for an indefinite period without filing charges against them, we have become just another police state. If we toss our Bill of Rights aside in the name of improved security, we will ultimately feel less secure. What's worse, we will have lost our soul.

Yes, this is a time of great unease. We have had monstrous crimes committed against us. The anthrax threat perpetuates our fear, keeps us off balance, makes us continually edgy. We worry about what is coming next. It is no wonder that some Americans propose actions that are unfair or inhumane. But, that doesn't make it right.

To deal with our sense of alarm, we need to focus on those security measures that can provide some real protection. Even better airport security. Sky marshals on airplanes. Irradiation of mail at postal facilities. Developing drugs that will combat biological or chemical weapons. Improving detection of agro-terrorism and ways to contain it. Being more alert ourselves.

Equally important is learning more about the cultures and religions and passions of people who share our planet. We need to know how they live in order to understand their anger and resentment. We need to win their cooperation to cut off terrorism before it strikes their homes or ours.

What we don't need is to undermine our basic liberties. We must think carefully about what new security measures will really enhance our security and which ones will merely degrade our freedom. We don't need pilots telling us to be afraid of our seatmates because of their countries of origin. We do need to reaffirm our commitment to an open and just society for every American, regardless of ethnicity or religion.

We can't just wrap ourselves in our flag. We have to stand up for what it represents. Now, especially, we must live our ideals in the face of a watchful world.